His tiny eyes are round and adorable. He stares at me alert and needy, rooting with his little mouth on my chest, on my arms, everywhere he can reach, kind of begging for some nourishment. He makes the cutest noises, breathing either real fast, either at all, making me bend over to see if he is still alive. I am panicked, like a first time mom, just so he can let go the air soon after that, with a loud relief. He squirms through those newborn pains, but he's brave and only cries when hunger hits home. He curls up in my embrace like a puppy in the arms of his owner, making himself comfortable in the heat of my body. He kicks his limbs and I can't stop watching all these repeated plays that move me to tears and to smiles. This little one screams helplessness all over though and I know I can't leave, I can't take a break, I can't fall asleep, I can't even eat peacefully anymore and there is no more time for hobbies and recreation. I'm needed and I am needed 24 hours long.
This little life hides secrets I have thought of before, but never deeply unfolded as they unveil right now. Amazingly how in his needy eyes I find myself staring, beyond history, into the eyes of a newborn Savior. How great that humbleness, how great that first sacrifice of undressing of the Almighty and putting on clothes of a rooting babe, curling up into his human mother's arms to find comfort from cold, hunger and pain. How great that selflessness of laying down the "All Powerful" and becoming a needy, helpless infant. He needed Mary; he needed Joseph; he needed them 24 hours long... The King of Kings, the Lord of all crying to let them know he thirsts and hungers; the God of the Universe, the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) was sitting in cloth diapers kicking his limbs uncontrollably, breathing either too fast or at all, learning this world like He hasn't been the very Creator of it.
It made cry... It made me cry so bad that I could not see but the tears. I did not understand this picture in its fullness, I couldn't grasp this completely till I have watched my baby needing me to survive... My Savior came down from His glory and "emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men" (Philippians 2:7). Can we let this touch our hardened hearts, this great sacrifice that non of us would be capable of? Can we open our eyes to this love that thought not of Himself but was poured out to us, while emptied of fame, in a manger to be soon crucified on a bloody cross? We, who aren't able to downsize from and SUV to a car without suffering "deep emotional anguish", can we bow down our knee before this great expression of humility?
This is what my Christmas is all about. This is what I celebrate everyday in my heart with a renewed understanding, as I hold my 4 weeks old helpless baby boy: that a Savior has made himself nothing in order to free me from my sin.
English Translation HERE
Sunt o iubitoare a cuvintelor; le vad in varful degetelor mele, incerc de multe ori sa le ating, insa imi dau seama ca ele sunt menite sa atinga.